Well, it’s been a long time since I’ve made a blog entry. I’ve not stopped writing, thankfully. Writing is still my solace and some nights I still feel like I will probably implode if I don’t squiggle at least a few lines on some paper. I felt discouraged from making public entries ever since I passed by someone else’s WP; the summary of their blog diminished self indulgent blogs written by teenage girls.
But, here I am again (despite not being a teenager), absolutely burning to write. As mentioned, I use two mediums. Good old fashioned paper (ie, my Star Wars moleskin) in which I seemingly never have anything positive to say. And this, my blog, on which I type whatever it is that needs to come out, or at least, I used to. So if you’re a new reader, let me warn you about my self indulgent posts. If you’re a returning reader, you’re already used to it and welcome back.
S is for ‘selfie,’ which was, unfortunately and incredibly, named as the word of 2013 by Oxford Dictionaries. Despite it being 2014, please, let me just have this moment;
Now I’ve dealt with that six month difference, I want to go forward with my blog by actually looking back. All too often, it’s easy to lose sight of what your goals are. Goals are important. Striving is important. Back in July, I wrote a blog titled ‘S is for Shannon; S is for stagnant.’ During writing that post, Past Shannon obviously felt very lost and had the bitching idea of creating a ‘to achieve’ list. Here it is;
Admittedly, I didn’t quite manage it in the last two months of summer. But six months on, my check list looks something like this:
- After going through the application and interview process for primary school teaching, I went with my trusty gut feeling and withdrew my whole application. I obtained an internship as a social media marketer two days after. To this moment, I do not regret my decision. I really enjoy my internship – if it wasn’t for still being a student, I’d invest a lot more of my time in it. I’ve finally found a direction.
- As for my ‘hidden talent,’ I’m not sure if it’s hidden or a talent, but I can now make a pretty mean Sunday dinner. It’s not impressive to an outsider, but for me, I’ve come a long way. I can now do more than just shove frozen things from a box in the oven. I’ll take what I can get.
- My latest interest, that I may be slightly obsessive over, is Pretty Little Liars. PLL is probably the TV show that will define my final year of university, in the way that Gossip Girl defined my first.
- The fourth point on my list is worded a little oddly. What I should have typed is ‘spend more time enjoying music, in all its forms.’ And I have, I really have. I’ll save that for another post though.
Unfortunately, I still haven’t made it to Scotland (Edinburgh.) I’ve only got as close as looking at the megabus prices. (Which are pretty good.) I do feel a sense of failure in not having been yet, but at least I still have this to strive for.
At present, I am happy. The most important thing to be. I still don’t have answers to where I’m going to end up, what I’m going to graduate with, what life post September will hold etc. but while I’ve been moving forward, it’s all slowly been falling into place. The way friends and family told me it would, the falling motion that other WordPressers told me to hold out for. Somewhere along the line, I clicked on to the fact that university is a mere adventure in the whole span of a hopefully long life. I’ve stopped pinning everything on something so small. I’ve made plans up until September. Those plans involve graduating and then spending May – September fannying around, enjoying everything, earning money and catching up on all the books and the albums I’ve missed out on.
I haven’t changed entirely, I still get frantically ditzy over the tiniest things, trying to control everything that is entirely out of my clutches. I often still feel like I’m a fish outside of water, so, I’m glad Past Shannon had the sense to write. I apologise to her for the fact I stopped. It’s been liberating to have my own words to look back on and knowing that I (mostly) achieved my goals. It’s comforting to acknowledge that I’m doing alright, I’ve come quite far. For those readers who critique self-indulgent blogs; it’s nice to be at home in my blog again.
What I’m outwardly trying to say is; if things feel like they’re too much, if you ever feel like you’re sinking, keep pushing forward. Keep moving onward with your head held high, because there is always more, there is always something else. ‘Now’ doesn’t have to be ‘right.’ Mainly, don’t ever forget to look back. You’ll see how much you’ve grown and how much growing you’ve still got left to do.
Now playing: – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BXPtG5xeU5w