Even though I spend my days feeling anxious about how many hours are left before I generally switch off for the day, I’m starting to lose weeks. They pass by – flitting – barely brushing my skin, barely being acknowledged. I’m in a haze of enjoying myself, being freer than I’ll ever be in years to come, yet simultaneously being bogged down by dissertation, a job, an internship. Life is busy, even on the days I feel unproductive.
Being busy leads everyone into the trap of feeling ‘too busy,’ for other things. I often assume that the rest of the world plods along in its own way, just like I’m plodding in mine. Occasionally though, that’s not the case and somewhere a stumble occurs instead of a plod.
I’m in a transitional phase with a certain person, having never got along, to getting along, to being aware that in a few months, we probably won’t be getting along again. I’m also in the transitional phase where people who I once depended on, are becoming dependent on me; for good reasons and bad reasons, but the change is occurring regardless.
Said person really could have done with someone to talk to yesterday, and even today. Just a quick phone call, a split second of company. I just haven’t been there. Our shifts haven’t matched, I’ve been working on my dissertation, it’s late. All these stupid, busy reasons – they aren’t really reasons at all. Busy isn’t always good. Busy takes away from the things that get pushed into the background.
Just a quick reminder; take a moment to take care of the ones around you.